Can I Afford To Stay Home With the Kids?

For many families, the idea of one parent staying home, whether for a few years or…forever, can feel both exciting and terrifying. The biggest question I hear is: Can we actually afford it?

There are a lot of dynamics at play, but when I begin to model out scenarios for clients, there was one big takeaway that is pretty clear. Taking a few years off doesn’t completely derail your long-term financial plan. The key is understanding the trade-offs and making intentional choices that align with the life you’re trying to build.

Every Financial Decision Comes with Trade-Offs

It should be obvious to say that, all things being equal, more money and higher incomes lead to “better” financial outcomes than less money and trying to live off one income. You already know this. This is why this question gives a lot of anxiety, confusion, or heartache to people.

But by asking the question at all, you’re beginning to notice that some things (hint: a LOT of things) are about more than money. But some of the fear can arise because you also don’t want to completely ruin your lives just to follow your heart.

The short answer is yes; you might need to give up some secondary goals. Things like a vacation home, a boat, or fully covering your kids’ college, start to come off the game plan when you explore shifting to one income. But those aren’t necessarily losses. They’re choices that could support what you value most right now: being present for your family.

For some families, it also might mean dramatically stepping back on your current spending. Maybe you stick with your car longer or stay in the home that you wanted to move on from for a few more years. Maybe vacations shift from flights to road trips. But let’s be honest…if you’ve got little kids, you’re probably spending most of your “vacation” visiting family anyway.

Adjusting the Plan

If you’re considering time away from work, it can help to front-load your financial progress. That might mean contributing more to retirement accounts while you’re working, so your investments keep growing while you take time off. This also has the unintended benefit of making you live on less money, meaning you’ll have less you’ll need to support on one income.

In some cases, it makes sense to prioritize investing before you step away. You can also plan to contribute strategically during your time off, using traditional accounts when your income (and tax bracket) is higher, and Roth accounts when it’s lower. A few smart moves here can make a meaningful long-term difference.

And don’t forget: daycare is expensive. The loss of income might not be as dramatic as it seems once you remove those costs from the equation.

Don’t Overlook Your Career Satisfaction

I work with a lot of people who dislike their jobs. If you actually enjoy yours, that’s worth noting and being grateful for. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take time off, but it’s an important piece of the picture.

Some careers lend themselves better to stints where you can take a few years off. I’ve had clients in education, counseling, and medical professions, where the demand never ends, who feel confident they could “hop back in when the timing is right.”

But there are many careers where it could feel impossible to “hop back in,” at least not without taking a hit. Fast-moving tech, big law, and consulting clients have shared concerns that a decision like this could feel permanent, even if that wasn’t what they were planning.

Model the Scenarios

Sometimes what you really need is clarity. Modeling out what life looks like with one income, reduced savings, or lower expenses can make the decision a lot less abstract. You might realize the trade-offs are smaller, or at least more manageable, than you expected.

You don’t have to plan your entire life to make a decision that works for today. None of us knows what the next 50 years hold (or even the next five). You can always reassess once your kids are in school and decide what’s next.

You might find yourself ready to go back sooner, or even that you have fully adapted to this lifestyle and want to stick with it longer than you thought.

“What if you love your life?”

Yes, you won’t be able to save as much money. Yes, you will have to work longer until you can both retire. You’ll probably buy less fancy things or go on more modest vacations. But we’re not always solving for the best financial outcome. We’re solving for the best life outcome.

Let me ask you a theoretical question. If your spouse became disabled and couldn’t work, would you find a way to survive? Of course you would. It wouldn’t be what you wanted, and it would require some sacrifices, but you would make the changes necessary to survive.*

The only point I make in bringing in that extreme example is that it’s possible to make similar types of changes to make this type of arrangement work. You just have to decide what you want most. Numbers matter, but so do your values. This is about building a life that reflects what’s most important to you, right now and in the seasons ahead.

I’ve personally known folks who moved from the big city to a much smaller town to make this transition possible, while living off one income of less than $60k! That’s not going to work for most people, but they really made it happen based on their values.

If you’re considering stepping back from work, I can help you see what that would actually look like. We can model different scenarios, income, savings, taxes, and childcare, and see how the trade-offs line up with your goals. Sometimes clarity is all it takes to move forward confidently.

*Small shout-out to the value of disability insurance.